My husband has told me that my blog is a girlie blog. I don't know how girlie it's been to my readers but I am definitley about to have a girl moment. I had a young lady come up to me the other day and tell me that she is a fan. My first thought was 'great, someone has read my blog but me'. Then she told me, 'I look for you everyday just to see what shoes you will be wearing. I am such a fan of your shoe collection.' I don't think I could have been happier or more flattered if she HAD actually read my blog.
I know it's ridiculous to some but I have this CRAZY shoe fetish. I don't think that I have an addictive personality, but my shoes are an addiction to me. In school, I'm majoring in Public Relations and must dress accordingly for the job. I, also, have an event planning business called Brides Made Consulting. It requires that I speak, behave, and dress professionally. I have learned that in business, less is more when it comes to your appearance so you may see me perfectly made up, my hair coiffed and a nice pencil skirt or London fit slacks with an appropriate blouse. I have always been a rebel so I rebel against the "perfect business (wo)man" with my shoes. My shoes will range from a pair of red pumps partly covered by my London fit slacks to a purple peacock designed shoe offsetting my pencil skirt.
I love my shoes and the designers who make them. I'm not the biggest girlie girl, but my shoes are the most petite, elegant, and ornate things in this world. So thank you to my favorites Micheal Kors and Christian Louboutin and the more affordable, Guess, Anne Michelle and Wild Rose. You keep me feeling as if I'm looking my best.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Family Values value...
Everyone that knows me knows how close I am to my family. My mommy is my rock and I helped raise my baby sister. My older brother is my best friend and my two little brothers are the buffers I need sometimes for the things I get into. I sometimes find it hard to understand when families don't get along. My grandmother used to tell us that the only thing we have is each other... our family. So I started thinking about the values that were instilled in me. The most important one to me is that no matter what, you stay close to your family whether you like the family member or not.
My classmates had very strong opinions about the situation with Tracy Morgan and his mother and Madonna's situation with her brother. Some think that he should have given his mother money for her home because when it's all said and done she's his only mother. Others voiced that his mother wasn't acting like a good mother when she put their family business in the media. Some of the opinions that I got about Madonna is that, with the money she has, her brother shouldn't be homeless. Others even voiced that he should be able to get the best rehab. For the record, I think Madonna did offer her brother rehab, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
I don't think any of us can honestly say that we had a Leave It to Beaver life. My father died when I was a toddler and my mom and stepfather both worked very hard to provide for us and I have some really great memories of my childhood. But I remember that I wanted to have more of a relationship with my Mommy. I wanted to be able to do more with her. (After all we were surrounded by testosterone.) We have a great relationship now that she has retired and I'm an adult. We can have a lunch or sit down to a dinner because she's not on a 9 to 5 Monday through Friday. I can call her in the middle of the day just because and she's not so busy at work that she can't talk.
Maybe we expect too much out of our family members. No one is perfect and we all have the drunk uncle that's always asking for two dollars or the drug addict cousin twice removed that no one really talks about even though we try constantly to get to and keep them in rehab. Then we have the family member that everyone has given up on. No matter who you are, no matter how poor or rich you are, and definitely no matter how famous or successful you are, you have to deal with family (depending on how successful you are, you have to deal with more of your family than others). We don't have to be in their lives constantly or allow them over for tea and cucumber sandwiches, but they do affect our lives in some manner.
The lesson I learned from my grandmother is that you encourage your family member who may not have aspired to be where you are or to the heights that you're climbing to. You can't put them down and hope that 'tough love' or ignoring the person will make them become a better person. If you have that drunk uncle, don't just tell him to go to an AA meeting... accompany him to the meetings. If you have an addict cousin, go with them to decide on a comfortable rehab for them. If you have a family member that's incarcerated, don't give up on them...go visit them on the weekends, send them money to get what their food, hygene or stationary items, and write them so that they do not feel as if one bad decision will determine their family value.
I'm guilty of the tough love approach but it did not make the situation better and it definitely did not improve our relationship. So it's hard to put up with family and their issues when you have so many of your own, but in the long run, if you saved their spirit or their life, isn't it worth it?
My classmates had very strong opinions about the situation with Tracy Morgan and his mother and Madonna's situation with her brother. Some think that he should have given his mother money for her home because when it's all said and done she's his only mother. Others voiced that his mother wasn't acting like a good mother when she put their family business in the media. Some of the opinions that I got about Madonna is that, with the money she has, her brother shouldn't be homeless. Others even voiced that he should be able to get the best rehab. For the record, I think Madonna did offer her brother rehab, but you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
I don't think any of us can honestly say that we had a Leave It to Beaver life. My father died when I was a toddler and my mom and stepfather both worked very hard to provide for us and I have some really great memories of my childhood. But I remember that I wanted to have more of a relationship with my Mommy. I wanted to be able to do more with her. (After all we were surrounded by testosterone.) We have a great relationship now that she has retired and I'm an adult. We can have a lunch or sit down to a dinner because she's not on a 9 to 5 Monday through Friday. I can call her in the middle of the day just because and she's not so busy at work that she can't talk.
Maybe we expect too much out of our family members. No one is perfect and we all have the drunk uncle that's always asking for two dollars or the drug addict cousin twice removed that no one really talks about even though we try constantly to get to and keep them in rehab. Then we have the family member that everyone has given up on. No matter who you are, no matter how poor or rich you are, and definitely no matter how famous or successful you are, you have to deal with family (depending on how successful you are, you have to deal with more of your family than others). We don't have to be in their lives constantly or allow them over for tea and cucumber sandwiches, but they do affect our lives in some manner.
The lesson I learned from my grandmother is that you encourage your family member who may not have aspired to be where you are or to the heights that you're climbing to. You can't put them down and hope that 'tough love' or ignoring the person will make them become a better person. If you have that drunk uncle, don't just tell him to go to an AA meeting... accompany him to the meetings. If you have an addict cousin, go with them to decide on a comfortable rehab for them. If you have a family member that's incarcerated, don't give up on them...go visit them on the weekends, send them money to get what their food, hygene or stationary items, and write them so that they do not feel as if one bad decision will determine their family value.
I'm guilty of the tough love approach but it did not make the situation better and it definitely did not improve our relationship. So it's hard to put up with family and their issues when you have so many of your own, but in the long run, if you saved their spirit or their life, isn't it worth it?
Friday, February 17, 2012
TS... support U?
It is accepted that other cultures have an immense respect for where they came from whether it is acceptable by Americans or not. But many of these people did not have the struggles and history as an African American. No other ethnicity was bought into the United States in masses for no other reason than servitude. No other ethnicity has continually been seen as uneducated, lazy, and unmotivated. Other cultures and ethnicities are applauded for the work that they do and the miles they traveled to get to where they are now. The only time our black men seem to be applauded in the media is in sports and music. This could explain why so many of our boys believe that their only ways of improvement are in these areas. As a child, I was taught the love and respect that an African American should have in not only their people and their history but also in their education. My grandmother was not even considered as worthy to attend a college based on her color. My great grandmother was a sharecropper. But my mom, grandma, and Nana told me from my creation that I could rule the world.
For those who don’t know, I attend Texas Southern University. I do not attend it for the accolades that it has been attributed (good luck finding them within media), I do not attend it because of how highly praised the teachers are (you only find out about a teacher if there is a problem)…. I go to TSU because the school is diverse, it is worthy of all accolades. The teachers are caring and they work with you, not only to make sure that you get out of college but so that you can stand with or without everyone noticing the color of your skin. I always wanted to go to a historically black college or university and for those familiar with the Houston and surrounding areas, Texas Southern is not the only HBCU around. When I went back to college, I chose Texas Southern during the time that they were being crucified in the media for the actions of a handful of people. Those people did not account for the majority of Texas Southern or their staff nor were they alumni of Texas Southern, but the impact that they had on the school was further reaching than anyone then or now would have guessed. News of their betrayal saturated the television, internet, and papers for over a year and with their dismissal, came the fallout and clean-up.
To this day there is very little GOOD press about Texas Southern unless it’s about sports or the band. Yes, the band Ocean of Soul has won awards and performed at Super Bowls and The Stellar Awards and in 2010 the football team won its first Southwest Athletic Conference (SWAC) Championship in 42 years, but the radio station KTSU is number one overall of Houston/Galveston stations for its Sunday format and its Friday format of Golden Oldies. I just want to highlight some of the good about Texas Southern University. First it is one of only four independent public universities in Texas. This means that Texas Southern is not affiliated with any of the six public university systems in Texas. It is, also, one of the largest and the most comprehensive HBCUs in the nation. The Jesse H. Jones School of Business was named one of the ‘Best 300 Business Schools ‘ by the Princeton Review in 2008 and was recognized as one of the nation’s ‘Best Business Schools’ by the U.S. News & World Report in 2010. The College of Science and Technology houses research programs like the NASA University Research Center for Bio-Nanotechnology and Environmental Research, the Maritime Transportation Studies and Research, as well as the STEM research program. The Thurgood Marshall School of Law has been consistently ranked number one in achieving diversification in its student body. In the fall of 2010, Texas Southern University partnered with Lone Star College in Northwest Houston to make education easier to get to for that side of town. In conjunction with the City of Houston and Houston Public Library, Texas Southern will begin to offer fine arts classes with theatre and dance performances in the historic Deluxe Theater in Houston’s Fifth Ward.
I understand that what has happened in the past may put people off to TSU but no one likes for their past to affect their future. So I encourage all those who attend TSU and those who are just in the Houston and surrounding areas to support Texas Southern University.
Hoe or Housewife
Ok, some friends and I were watching the TV show The Game. If you haven't seen it, you should... it's a great show. The character Melanie told her husband Derwin that she wanted to have more of a say in his career and he told her that he just wanted her to be there for sex and no more of a say. It may seem funny but I have found out that there are some men out here who do not know the difference between a hoe and a housewife.
Let me enlighten the unknowing....
A hoe is the woman that you have sex with for three minutes while you think it's three hours and she doesn't pretend it's good, but she can go on to another man who will be better. You give her some money and let her be on her way. She has it GOOD!
A housewife is the woman that has sex with you for three minutes while you think it's three hours, she has to pretend it's the best sex ever and then she has to buy a vibrator to give her the orgasm you denied her. And then she gets up to clean the house, cook, wash clothes, take care of the kids, and now-a-days, go to work outside of the home. She's SCREWED over!
So let me know fellas do you want your girl to be your hoe or your housewife? For what you pay your wife, she would be better off being a hoe. I know that there are alot of women out here who would agree that if all they had to do was screw their husbands and not have to take on any other responsibilities, they would be more than happy to. If you just want someone to screw, you find you a hoe cause that is all she'll do for you. When you want to be taken care of and supported, you get a housewife. Hence the phrase, 'you can't turn a hoe into a housewife'. See the difference, yet?
You can never turn a hoe into a housewife, but let me let you in on a secret... you can turn YOUR housewife into YOUR hoe. These are the three steps how:
1. Show and tell her that you appreciate everything that she does to keep the house running smoothly (cause you know that's not you keeping the kids from burning it down).
2. Compliment her appearance. It seems small but the greatest thing a woman can hear is her man telling her that she looks wonderful. I went around for a month with my hair forever in a ponytail and no make-up while I tried to get some household things in order... my husband's reply was your beautiful. I knew I looked a mess but he got more sex that month than any other month in our marriage.
3. DO NOT BE SELFISH IN BED. I know Bernie Mac says 'I got mine, she better get hers' but outside of comedy, that doesn't work well. If you continually get yours before she gets hers, your relationship will turn into a joke cause she'll be out getting hers while your thinking you got yours (and her).
Follow those few steps and your set. Not only will you have a woman who will support you mentally and emotionally, you will have a woman who will screw you at anytime, in anyway, as much as you want and need it.
Let me enlighten the unknowing....
A hoe is the woman that you have sex with for three minutes while you think it's three hours and she doesn't pretend it's good, but she can go on to another man who will be better. You give her some money and let her be on her way. She has it GOOD!
A housewife is the woman that has sex with you for three minutes while you think it's three hours, she has to pretend it's the best sex ever and then she has to buy a vibrator to give her the orgasm you denied her. And then she gets up to clean the house, cook, wash clothes, take care of the kids, and now-a-days, go to work outside of the home. She's SCREWED over!
So let me know fellas do you want your girl to be your hoe or your housewife? For what you pay your wife, she would be better off being a hoe. I know that there are alot of women out here who would agree that if all they had to do was screw their husbands and not have to take on any other responsibilities, they would be more than happy to. If you just want someone to screw, you find you a hoe cause that is all she'll do for you. When you want to be taken care of and supported, you get a housewife. Hence the phrase, 'you can't turn a hoe into a housewife'. See the difference, yet?
You can never turn a hoe into a housewife, but let me let you in on a secret... you can turn YOUR housewife into YOUR hoe. These are the three steps how:
1. Show and tell her that you appreciate everything that she does to keep the house running smoothly (cause you know that's not you keeping the kids from burning it down).
2. Compliment her appearance. It seems small but the greatest thing a woman can hear is her man telling her that she looks wonderful. I went around for a month with my hair forever in a ponytail and no make-up while I tried to get some household things in order... my husband's reply was your beautiful. I knew I looked a mess but he got more sex that month than any other month in our marriage.
3. DO NOT BE SELFISH IN BED. I know Bernie Mac says 'I got mine, she better get hers' but outside of comedy, that doesn't work well. If you continually get yours before she gets hers, your relationship will turn into a joke cause she'll be out getting hers while your thinking you got yours (and her).
Follow those few steps and your set. Not only will you have a woman who will support you mentally and emotionally, you will have a woman who will screw you at anytime, in anyway, as much as you want and need it.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Whitney Elizabeth Houston 1963-2012
Good Afternoon to everyone who may be still as shocked and hurt by the death of the icon Whitney Elizabeth Houston. I am one of the biggest skeptics you may ever encounter so when my husband's friend called him telling him that Whitney Houston was dead, I was like 'yeah, ok'. But not even two seconds later, I get a email from my NY Times online subscription saying 'Whitney Houston Dead, at 48'. I couldn't catch my breath at first then I had decided that it was a death hoax and that she was going to release a statement saying "I'm not dead, yet." What made it real for me was when I saw a picture of a very distraught Bobbi Kristina.
It is that young lady that I feel for right now. In the press' eagerness to put SOMETHING out there, they have just about put ANYTHING out there. They have reported that Ray J was with her when she died and was the one who discovered the body. They have said implied that she was using drugs again and that was a possible cause of death. I was listening to the radio this morning where they had on a young 'journalist' (and I use the word loosely) who recalled Whitney Houston's last interview. She mentioned how Ms. Houston was at the interview with her hair wet and 'not dressed' like the way you would think an icon should look, 'especially since you're already so criticized'. Not once did she mention that Whitney Houston was with her daughter, Bobbie Kristina, at the pool and that could be an explanation for her wet hair. Nor did anyone ever think that because you are an icon, doesn't mean that you have to WANT or try to be perfect at all times. By the way, Whitney Houston was planning a surprise party for Brandy for that night which probably had something to do with the note that the viral feed showed Whitney passing to Brandy.
My point is that the autopsy has not come out as of yet and for people to continually put the negative out there is bad journalism and is very hurtful to Bobbi Kristina. She is a young woman who has just lost her best friend and her mother all in one. It hurts my heart to know that she has to go through such an emotional period of time WITH ALL EYES ON HER and most of the people who are leering have nothing nice to say about her mother. I'm shedding tears for her because it's never easy to lose anyone you love but a parent, a friend, a mentor...
Even if she was on crack, prescription drugs, or just high off life, a real journalist knows that you are to report the facts of what is happening without your opinion of what it looks like to you. "It's not right, but it's ok..." - Whitney Houston
Whitney Houston was as much an inspiration for me as she was for other singers: professional like Christina Aguilera and Beyone and the shower singers like me. I remember winning my first talent contest singing my rendition of The Greatest Love of All. I was motivated to try my hand at singing again when I heard her sing the Star Spangled Banner.
I shed tears for who she was.
For how her entrance started a buzz.
I shed tears for what she went through.
Even though you were glad she wasn't you still wished she was you.
I shed tears for what she wanted to do.
Everyday she showed she loved Bobbi Kristina and, with Sparkle, she showed she loved us too.
Rest in Peace Whitney Elizabeth Houston. I hope you find with God the serenity you could not find with his creatures here on Earth.
August 9, 1963- February 11, 2012
I shed tears for all those she left here to morn her star brighting the heavens.
It is that young lady that I feel for right now. In the press' eagerness to put SOMETHING out there, they have just about put ANYTHING out there. They have reported that Ray J was with her when she died and was the one who discovered the body. They have said implied that she was using drugs again and that was a possible cause of death. I was listening to the radio this morning where they had on a young 'journalist' (and I use the word loosely) who recalled Whitney Houston's last interview. She mentioned how Ms. Houston was at the interview with her hair wet and 'not dressed' like the way you would think an icon should look, 'especially since you're already so criticized'. Not once did she mention that Whitney Houston was with her daughter, Bobbie Kristina, at the pool and that could be an explanation for her wet hair. Nor did anyone ever think that because you are an icon, doesn't mean that you have to WANT or try to be perfect at all times. By the way, Whitney Houston was planning a surprise party for Brandy for that night which probably had something to do with the note that the viral feed showed Whitney passing to Brandy.
My point is that the autopsy has not come out as of yet and for people to continually put the negative out there is bad journalism and is very hurtful to Bobbi Kristina. She is a young woman who has just lost her best friend and her mother all in one. It hurts my heart to know that she has to go through such an emotional period of time WITH ALL EYES ON HER and most of the people who are leering have nothing nice to say about her mother. I'm shedding tears for her because it's never easy to lose anyone you love but a parent, a friend, a mentor...
Even if she was on crack, prescription drugs, or just high off life, a real journalist knows that you are to report the facts of what is happening without your opinion of what it looks like to you. "It's not right, but it's ok..." - Whitney Houston
Whitney Houston was as much an inspiration for me as she was for other singers: professional like Christina Aguilera and Beyone and the shower singers like me. I remember winning my first talent contest singing my rendition of The Greatest Love of All. I was motivated to try my hand at singing again when I heard her sing the Star Spangled Banner.
I shed tears for who she was.
For how her entrance started a buzz.
I shed tears for what she went through.
Even though you were glad she wasn't you still wished she was you.
I shed tears for what she wanted to do.
Everyday she showed she loved Bobbi Kristina and, with Sparkle, she showed she loved us too.
Rest in Peace Whitney Elizabeth Houston. I hope you find with God the serenity you could not find with his creatures here on Earth.
August 9, 1963- February 11, 2012
I shed tears for all those she left here to morn her star brighting the heavens.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Fashion Since...?
I read an article on the web about a French Elle magazine blog that has me more than a little ruffled. The article is about French Elle's blogger, Nathalie Dolivo, blog on the 'black fashion renaissance'. She says that the First couple has inspired black people to get style sense. It stated that before Michelle and Barack Obama inspired black Americans to become chic we had something that could be defined as 'streetwear codes'. What the hell is streetwear? When you go on the street I would hope you had something to wear. But you know what streetwear is... the stereotypical saggy jeans, big bamboo earrings and general 'I don't give a sh*t what you think of me' clothing. I don't know about you but I have never let my pants hang purposely below my ass nor do I own a pair of bamboo earrings. To make it worse, she then goes on to say the the First lady, Mrs. Michelle Obama has 'helped blacks adopt a white code' of dress and that her wardrope is reminiscent of 'Jackie O. in a jazzy way'. What is a 'jazzy way'? you may ask. Jazzy is described by Ms. Dolivo to include shells, African robes, and other ethnic articles ie. bamboo earrings. I must have missed a few of Mrs. Obama's appearances because I've never seen this 'jazzy way'.
I'm disappointed with Ms. Dolivo and her interpretation on black fashion over the years, but I'm mad as hell at our young black people for even putting that impression out there. I went past a high school as the kids were getting out and I caught a glimpse of the bamboo earrings, baggy jeans wear. I have never know a person to get a job dressed that way and they never will if they do not evolve. But I have seen pictures of my younger styles. We all wish we can burn some of those pictures like we did the clothes.
My point is as a child we think as a child and are forever changing and reinventing ourselves, our mindsets, and yes... our fashion sense. I can honestly say that most African American ADULTS have long evolved from the baggy jeans and bamboo earrings to the belt around the waist and diamond studs without adopting 'black geoisie'. For those who are probably trying to Google this phrase to figure out what this is... Ms. Dolivo coined this phrase to describe the blacks who have adopted 'white codes' while maintaining their blackness. (Fist in the air. REALLY?) So please all future journalist, be aware of what you are writing and what stereotypes you may be embracing because the wrong thing said can give you so much pain later.
Thank you Mommy for teaching me that my first impression may be the last one I get so be sure of the impression I want to give before I open the door.
I'm disappointed with Ms. Dolivo and her interpretation on black fashion over the years, but I'm mad as hell at our young black people for even putting that impression out there. I went past a high school as the kids were getting out and I caught a glimpse of the bamboo earrings, baggy jeans wear. I have never know a person to get a job dressed that way and they never will if they do not evolve. But I have seen pictures of my younger styles. We all wish we can burn some of those pictures like we did the clothes.
My point is as a child we think as a child and are forever changing and reinventing ourselves, our mindsets, and yes... our fashion sense. I can honestly say that most African American ADULTS have long evolved from the baggy jeans and bamboo earrings to the belt around the waist and diamond studs without adopting 'black geoisie'. For those who are probably trying to Google this phrase to figure out what this is... Ms. Dolivo coined this phrase to describe the blacks who have adopted 'white codes' while maintaining their blackness. (Fist in the air. REALLY?) So please all future journalist, be aware of what you are writing and what stereotypes you may be embracing because the wrong thing said can give you so much pain later.
Thank you Mommy for teaching me that my first impression may be the last one I get so be sure of the impression I want to give before I open the door.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Ms. Independent, Ms. Understood, or with Mr. Wrong
I had a friend who told me that he can't stand these 'golddiggers', so I told him that the only men that are angry with golddiggers are the ones that have brass mines. If you have a platinum mine you don't worry about the gold.
My question is why do men say that they want Ms. Independent. They want the woman to be able to provide her own home, hummer, and hedgefund. But when the woman can provide these things for herself a man will say that she's doing too much or feel insecure about what she is able to provide for herself.
Are women Ms. Independent or Ms. Understood?
I'm happy to be lucky enough to be married to a very wonderful, patient, and supportive man, but I have seen some friends in relationships with men that I have to question both my friend and her man.
In this day and age a woman can do almost anything on her own. You can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan (that you bought). If you want a family, you can do that too without having a man in your life. If you CHOOSE to have a relationship, shouldn't you choose to make it work? So my question is... have we as women become too independent or are we just Ms. Understood?
Ms. Independent: It's been my belief that a woman can do anything a man can do just as well if not better, but if you want a man in your life, he cannot FEEL as if he's a non-essential. Just like you have to get up in the morning and shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and put on jewelry and make-up, you have to put the spunk in your man's day. Make sure he knows you appreciate him just as much as your Dove, Crest, M.A.C., and Neil Lane. If you choose to be in a relationship. It doesn't mean that you have to have a (wo)man in your life. It just means that you want that person there. If you WANT that person there, shouldn't you make it where they want to be there?
Ms. Understood: I do not flaunt my accomplishments to make you feel like you missed the boat. Everyone wants to be praised and congratulated on a job well done. The most important person to hear this from is your mate. I know that the outside world's opinion of me doesn't always matter because when it's all said and done, only my husband and children know exactly how much I had to sacrifice and what I went through to get the world's praise. So if your mate isn't praising you it can feel disheartening and may make you boost up your own praise of yourself.
Mr. Wrong: Don't get it twisted and think that I just mean men with this part... it can be either or. If you are intimidated by the success of your mate that is because you have not come along to the point that you want to be at. Work harder on getting where you want to be and your significant other will support you (if they're a good fit). If you cannot give and recieve support, that relationship is all WRONG for you. Get out while you may be friends down the line.
I'd like to thank my wonderful husband for all the love and support that he gives me everyday and the way that he always has my back so when I'm struggling, he's the one giving me the lift to get a leg up on everyone else. Not only do I want him in my life, I need him to want to be there.
My question is why do men say that they want Ms. Independent. They want the woman to be able to provide her own home, hummer, and hedgefund. But when the woman can provide these things for herself a man will say that she's doing too much or feel insecure about what she is able to provide for herself.
Are women Ms. Independent or Ms. Understood?
I'm happy to be lucky enough to be married to a very wonderful, patient, and supportive man, but I have seen some friends in relationships with men that I have to question both my friend and her man.
In this day and age a woman can do almost anything on her own. You can bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan (that you bought). If you want a family, you can do that too without having a man in your life. If you CHOOSE to have a relationship, shouldn't you choose to make it work? So my question is... have we as women become too independent or are we just Ms. Understood?
Ms. Independent: It's been my belief that a woman can do anything a man can do just as well if not better, but if you want a man in your life, he cannot FEEL as if he's a non-essential. Just like you have to get up in the morning and shower, brush your teeth, comb your hair, and put on jewelry and make-up, you have to put the spunk in your man's day. Make sure he knows you appreciate him just as much as your Dove, Crest, M.A.C., and Neil Lane. If you choose to be in a relationship. It doesn't mean that you have to have a (wo)man in your life. It just means that you want that person there. If you WANT that person there, shouldn't you make it where they want to be there?
Ms. Understood: I do not flaunt my accomplishments to make you feel like you missed the boat. Everyone wants to be praised and congratulated on a job well done. The most important person to hear this from is your mate. I know that the outside world's opinion of me doesn't always matter because when it's all said and done, only my husband and children know exactly how much I had to sacrifice and what I went through to get the world's praise. So if your mate isn't praising you it can feel disheartening and may make you boost up your own praise of yourself.
Mr. Wrong: Don't get it twisted and think that I just mean men with this part... it can be either or. If you are intimidated by the success of your mate that is because you have not come along to the point that you want to be at. Work harder on getting where you want to be and your significant other will support you (if they're a good fit). If you cannot give and recieve support, that relationship is all WRONG for you. Get out while you may be friends down the line.
I'd like to thank my wonderful husband for all the love and support that he gives me everyday and the way that he always has my back so when I'm struggling, he's the one giving me the lift to get a leg up on everyone else. Not only do I want him in my life, I need him to want to be there.
Bullying or Building
Anyone who went to Lew Wallace High School knows that high school was not the highlight of my life. I have always been too old for my age and more stuck up than necessary. (lmbo) But I have treasured the friends I did have and am grateful to all my enemies because they made me stronger.
Now, there was a little girl who told me that she hates school and the people in it because they make her feel bad about herself.
The first thing I told her is that no one can MAKE you feel bad about yourself. You have to already have the seed planted and the school meanies are watering it. But don't let it choke you because next to the weed of insecurity is the blooming orchid of determination.
I was bullied in elementary school all the way through high school. By time I hit high school it did not bother me as much because I had finally gotten it... the kids that were picking on me had it just as rough or more so than myself. I started to just 'take one for the team' as they say because I understood that it made them feel better to have an outlet for their pain and frustration.
My new motto became, if that's what you say ok, but don't touch. I understand that bullying has progressed since the days I was a child and teen. With the internet, YouTube, Facebook, and Twitter. You can embarass a person on a much broader scale than you once could. I hope that children can find a way to get along but that may never happen and until then, you must be very secure within yourself about not only you strengths (the things that make you Xena Warrior Princess or the Incredible Hulk), you must embrace your weaknesses (the things that make you Gabrielle or Bruce Banner). To some people like me, it's the Gabrielles and Bruce Banners of the world that change it.
Thank you everyone who picked on me or told me that I wasn't sh*t because once I removed those weeds I blossomed!
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